What To Think About in 2013

Most recently, I’ve been fighting with my body — a sinus thing a week ago, and then I spent last Saturday with some kind of stomach bug that sent puke out of my body onto University Place at 6:30am, just so some passer by could ask me if I was “still drunk.”  I was not.  I am a very bad patient.  I get very angry when I don’t feel well.  I think I am supposed to see some kind of lesson in it: Don’t try to do too much.  Why all the moralizing, though?  But maybe the lesson here is also: Stop trying to see a lesson in everything.  Sometimes you get sick, the end.

Luckily, I seem healed today, and am well enough to drive to Pawling to a friend’s house — another Greenmarket cohort has a girlfriend whose mom owns the house, but the mom is in Argentina, you know, like you are — to spend the Christmas Eve evening and Christmas Day morning.  Tomorrow I plan to mosey home at some as-yet-determined hour and see The Hobbit.

Some friends of mine are recently engaged — they warned us not to speak of it on Facebook yet, as it was still new news and they didn’t want everyone spreading it around so freely.  I like this idea very much.  Other friends are having babies, or had babies, some are having second babies.  I realized recently that I’ve come into my second act — as Jane Fonda would perhaps call it.  That time of your life when you’ve done a few things, but mostly you have what is left in front of you.  I was saying to Kip the other night that it feels lovely to see your friends find partners, new careers, new lives, make coast choices, change genders, land teaching positions.  One thing I think happens in the 30s is that you’re looking at yourself less.  I’m happy to say that I feel, in this year in particular, that I’ve noticed myself spending more time looking outward.

On Thursday, I fly home to Tennessee for a few days of parents, siblings, nephews, other relatives and honorary gay uncles.  Then back in January for a winter of — hopefully — extended writing periods, new stories, a new zine project, and the nagging novel.  Nagging in a good way.  I think.

I feel like I said “I want to write more in 2012” about this time a year ago.  I succeeded in a lot of ways — I produced some things I’m really proud of — but one thing I didn’t do was send any of it out.  The business of art-making is a full-time job, and I just didn’t have the energy, or confidence, or envelopes (stupid), to get it all done.  So, in addition to “Write more in 2013,” I’d like to try to “Send it out in 2013.”

So, with that: Happy Holidays, Everyone!


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